I heard on a website, some guy said that nothing is more valued in our society as a young woman. He quoted his wife who said, as a woman, at 20 everyone wants you, at 30, you’re on sale, at forty your bargain basement, and at 50 no one wants you. That seems to me true overall and completely false on the individual level. The same guy observed that men retain their value longer, but are seen as much more expendable. As proof, who do we send into dangers way, whether it is a dangerous job or the battlefield. Men, predominantly young men.
The answer is simple. Show her your heart. Many men have a hard time doing this due to thousands of years of social conditioning. and fear. Show her the same passion you would express when your team scores the winning touchdown with 3 seconds left in the game.
We are taught from a very young age that “manliness” is strong, rigid, and powerful, and to have no regards for our feelings, our emotions. This causes a much firmer grip on the ego. Even for those who don’t possess this kind of ego, they can sometimes still feel they should. Putting the ego on display will never win her heart, but you will be sure to gain many like minded buddies.
I am reminded of a quote from a well known “tough guy”. “Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.”
Eventually, everything unraveled due to power and control issues. Hers, not mine. It’s unfortunate because she has many wonderful qualities.
There are more gay men than gay women in that society
The original idea behind this thread was how to help fellows make initial contact. Some people, like the young Kenyan man needed this sort of help.
Having a few good lines, does not mean that you have to be looking for something superficial. And they don’t have to be lines. It’s possible to be witty and entertaining, but to speak only the truth. . After licking my wounds for a few days, after the breakup, I decided to put myself out there again.
There were many pragmatic reasons why I chose this route. Number one, would have to be that this place is quite unique in just how limited the pool of available men is. Drinking, gambling, drugs and the pursuit of whores has seriously diminished the pool of men that decent, intelligent women would consider husband material. Many potential mates leave for the oil fields or cruise ships and they never come back. Many people live on small islands where a good number of the people they know are their relatives.
I decided on a respectable dating site based in the Philippines
All of this tilts the playing field strongly in favor of any sober and productive man. Middle-aged foreign men are considered a prize. And I’ve seen many of these men. I checked out some of the profiles and thought to myself, if I ever allowed myself to get into that sort of pathetic physical shape, I’d slit my throat. Yet many of these guys have done all right.
And I know from personal experience with several guys I know here in Victoria, that men who don’t really have it together enough to consider getting married, often find themselves on these dating sites. I know three of them here. All guys who squandered their resources and health in various ways. And all of them did quite well considering their impediments. It’s a shame how two of those women settled for so little.