When I started this thread I was in a reasonably happy although sometimes strained relationship
I heard on a website, some guy said that nothing is more valued in our society as a young woman. He quoted his wife who said, as a woman, at 20 everyone wants you, at 30, you’re on sale, at forty your bargain basement, and at 50 no one wants you. That seems to me true overall and completely false on the individual level. The same guy observed that men retain their value longer, but are seen as much more expendable. As proof, who do we send into dangers way, whether it is a dangerous job or the battlefield. Men, predominantly young men.
The answer is simple. Show her your heart. Many men have a hard time doing this due to thousands of years of social conditioning. and fear. Show her the same passion you would express when your team scores the winning touchdown with 3 seconds left in the game.
We are taught from a very young age that “manliness” is strong, rigid, and powerful, and to have no regards for our feelings, our emotions. This causes a much firmer grip on the ego. Even for those who don’t possess this kind of ego, they can sometimes still feel they should. Putting the ego on display will never win her heart, but you will be sure to gain many like minded buddies.
I am reminded of a quote from a well known “tough guy”. “Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.”
Eventually, everything unraveled due to power and control issues. Hers, not mine. It’s unfortunate because she has many wonderful qualities.
There are more gay men than gay women in that society
The original idea behind this thread was how to help fellows make initial contact. Some people, like the young Kenyan man needed this sort of help.
Having a few good lines, does not mean that you have to be looking for something superficial.